I'll start with me....

So it's always easy to point out things about others that annoy you. I will start by saying that this little "smart phone etiquette list" stemmed from that, BUT I have caught myself on several occasions breaking a few of my own "rules". So I'll maybe change it to "smart phone etiquette goals" and then try like heck to not fail any of them on the list in front of any of you reading this.....least I boast. Plus we know that non of you nice people reading this even come close to not having etiquette issues......not you, just people you know. **Italicized to show sarcasm***

First off, I guinually like my i-rene, I mean heck she's even got a name. I have my grocery list on there, a couple of apps that will take me directly to some podcasts that I thouroughly enjoy listening to while I clean the house (if my boys aren't in the mood to help me out, which I prefer because it a) goes faster and b) with out the short one it actually doesn't start working in the opposite direction of acutally getting the house "clean". C will be a slob for sure...I'm just sayin.) as well as some other great features that I can't seem to bring to mind, hence why i-rene is called the "smart" one (get it? she's a smart-phone). BUT I'll have you know that while she may remember a million things for me, Dr's appts, phone #'s, grocery lists, get me directions to the nearest Chick-fil-A (shout out!), making it painless to dial up an episode of The Wiggles on youtuve to keep the lil one from screaming his head off when we have to wait a milli-sec more that he thinks we should (um, I'm the one in charge, he just hasn't gotten the memo yet) ......therefore making her only slightly more intellegent than me. I will have you know that she is not the boss of me! There I said it in cyerber-blog world and dang it I mean it! **Italicized to show sarcasm***

So ya'll know what I mean by the true convienence that is these crazy phones. Too convienent? Perhaps. After a few run-ins, about 14 months of obersavations of interaction between them and the down-cline of normal human interaction, I have mentally been running a list in my head of things I will try very hard to not do.

Have you lost interest by now? Did you get a text on your smart phone and now she's got your attention? Probably. She'll do that.

The sad part is that the things I'm listing below are probably done more out of habit that people even realize. Their phone has taken control of their manners and making everyone else that is around them feel as if they are second-fiddle to whatever type of communication with someone who isn't standing right there.....human contact, it's a lost art. I tell my friends here in A that suggest that I join FB (this is only if I don't feel the discretion to tell them about my recent recovery from it) that I have a new slogan for FB "keeping you connected to everyone and anyone so you can become disconnected from those sitting right next to you."

OK here it is:

#1 When I am having a conversation with someone who is sitting right in front of me, or directly in my line of sight, if i-rene rings I will not pick it up. WHY, you ask? Well for one, there is this beautiful feature called caller-id along with a backup plan called voice mail. T-rav is the ONLY one I give full exclusion from this because the man married me and deserves my 1st attention over anyone else, which is why he has his own special ring tone so I know it's him just by hearing the phone ring. In the crazy trenches that I am currently living in, to have a conversation with someone who wears a size bigger than a 4T and wants to talk about something other than going Daddy Dear Hunting usually means that it was a huge effort to get to this moment and by golly I'm going to give it to ya, cause I like ya! **Side note: T-rav says that the person standing in front of you needs to know that they are important too and not disposable to the next call on your phone, business or not***

#2 If my phone did ring and I did get a message I WILL NOT check it in front of you with out telling you 1st who it is and why I feel the need to check it right then.

#3 If I get a text message while you are in my presence I will not reply to it. I MAY glance at it because for some reason I think that people still use text messages to say simple things like "be there in 5" "running late".....you know, quick to the point, not coversations. IF I do happen to feel as if I need to reply back in front of you I will tell you exactly what is going on and what I'm typing word for word. In my overly opinionated brain I feel as if texting in front of someone who has carved time out of their day to spend it face to face with you is like saying "you're not important enough to give you my attention back so I'll just have this private conversation right here in front of you", c'mon folks, admit it...it's rude!

#4 I know email is not a quick as texting or FB and becoming a thing of the past, but still don't sit starring at your emails while I'm visiting you at your house. I'm sorry, but remember you invited me over. Am I bothering you?

#5 Don't keep your face glued to Facebook checking status updates and/or commenting on them while, again, I'm at your house upon your invitation. Maybe you should've invited those folks on FB instead. Oh, wait that's right, you haven't talked to most of them since jr high, but suddenly their lives seem to be so riveting to you now. Forget the person who's standing in front of you trying to make an honest investment in our friendship. Oh and please don't do it while at my house.....again, face to face communication....it's an art that you can still attain.

Your blood is boiling at this point right? It should be!! because I truly believe that the more advanced we get in technology the further away from "love your neighbor as yourself" we continue to be. How can we really know our neighbors or even our friends (dare I say the people who live in our house?) when we are too busy making them feel like they're competing with ol i-rene.

This truly has come from a place of love, I promise. I will never ever point out any of this to anyone if I see it going down because there are just times when the phone needs to be answered. I do have grace and I try to give folks the benefit of the doubt.....but if I know this to be a regular thing with you, I'll just be a smart A and either send you a text or call you while you engrossed in your i-rene 5 ft from where I'm standing trying to tell you about my latest fantastic trip to H-E-B. I like to think of myself as a good sport too!