Some days I need to be spoon fed His word because getting time to read anything is impossible, directly caused by being blessed with a full nest. So today when I was listening to a podcast from IFL this tidbit from the message resonated with me, in a good way.....for once.
A Chuck Swindoll paraphrase of a proverb-
"We can really be picky people. It takes a Heavenly appetite to enjoy a Heavenly food. Where there's a peace of God and where there's a hunger for God, you'll eat whatever is placed before you. You do it with gratitude. Better is a little dish of herbs than a big 'ol t-bone steak with out the blessing of God." A few weeks ago an almost miraculous thing happened to me and I've been not only in awe of it, but I notice that it has changed my outlook on everything that effects my life. I know that I know for certain that I prayed the sinners prayer when I was 7 years old and at that moment I was saved by grace. I know that I know that at the age of 22 God got a hold of my life, our marriage, and took it captive for His own. And on May 18, 2011 I know for sure and for certain that God took me deeper into His love........ never in my life have I known love like this before.
Love had confused me before, it was something that I showed for others hoping that they would "like" me or (if I was lucky) they would love me in return. It was conditional, if I performed the way they wanted to see me then I could get them to love me and not just like me. If they wanted funny, funny I would be. If they liked a little more sass, sassy I would be. If caring was more what they saw in me, then I would go out of my way to be caring for that individual. See the craziness I was on? I had no idea who God really made me and was at times embarrassed/ashamed of the personality He had given me. On that morning of May 18th, God grabbed ahold of me and showed me a small glimpse of how much he LOVED me. He loves me for me. He knitted me together, short legs and all, in my mommy's tummy over 30 years ago. He knew how easy my birthday would be for my husband to remember. He knew that my hair would slowing turn brown over the years making run for the hills of hair color to keep the local cosmotologists fed. He knew that I would be groomed by an out-doors man of a dad, and tom-boy of a mom and an older brother who made it his success in life to make sure his little sister knew how to hit like a boy. He made me for His purpose not for anyone else's entertainment. Yes, I still have a very sinful nature that needs to be dealt with regularly. Candor can be used for evil sometimes if not taken under the control of the Holy Spirit. My mouth has gotten me into more jams that I can count......augh, but the grace of God is showing me how He loves despite those flaws. Wow!
So now that I've gotten just a small glimpse of His pure love for me, it's setting me free from so much that had held me back before.
I'm talking about and remembering funny things about people that I swore I could never love again. That only comes directly from the overflow of love that I'm feeling in my heart. Never again will I ever try to feel the intimate love from someone on this earth that was only intended to be from the One who created me. Talking about setting myself and others up for failure!
He's up to something..... something that is the exact opposite of anything I ever thought He wanted from me......something called LOVE.
PS....I heart this song.
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