So I skipped on going to be encouraged within the body of Christ, and went to the place I least like., where satan dwells.. the grocery store. BLAH! Looking back I see the nesting kicking in by making sure there was food for the week because these boys love to eat!!
Fast forward to about 10:30 pm. I was tossing and turning, had had a 30 min nap earlier and so my body was like "girl, your good, go run a marathon." Insomnia sucks, amen? Can I get a witness? I decided to go take a shower because when I'm knocked up and it's above 75 degrees, I am SWEATING y'all!! non-stop.
I get in the shower and start to feel some rumbling. I had been in labor before but it had been 4 1/2 years prior, so yes I guess I had forgot a few of the details. I really just thought I had gas or needed to go use the restroom.
I realized after brushing out my hair that I hadn't packed for the hospital yet. Cause, procrastination and suspense are a real drug in my world, hahaha! So I started getting some stuff together and going to the bathroom every 20 mins because that wonderful thing of diarrhea during labor kicked in. Which was the same exact way labor started with J, very late at night with diarrhea, but both times I attributed it to what I ate for dinner. Clearly pregnancy does not make me the sharpest crayon in the box. Thank God I found a doula. By 12:30 am I was positive it was labor because the cramps were coming every 7 mins for about 1 min each time. I texted one of my good friends that I knew was going to pray for safety for me and baby K because she insisted that she wanted to know no matter what time it was. I love that girl. She doesn't just want to know things to be "in the know", she truly wants to know so she can stand in the gap for me and pray. I want to be just like her most days.
K, so I also called my doula to let her know what was up. She was also a post-pardom doula for a mama with twins that night who desperately needed sleep and she was doing a night shift at their house. So for those who can do the math, my doula had not gone to bed yet either. She and I had both been up since early that morning. This information will make sense in a little bit. She said that she would call back in an hour to an answer if I was still having contractions but if I didn't she would assume I went to bed because they stopped.
I laid down in bed thinking I could get some "rest" in between contractions, because I wanted to labor at home as long as possible, if this was real. I nudged T-rav because I didn't want him to be up with me all night, in case we had the baby the next day, I needed him to not be as tired as me. Someone had to fresh to take pics, right? I told him that I was having braxton hicks and they were pretty bad, maybe he should sleep in our guest bed so he could get some sleep. Yes, I lied to him. Lord please forgive me. I know a I lie is a lie. I still haven't told him that I lied to him. I'll do that when he gets home today.
By 1:30 am they had gotten really more intense and about 6 mins apart. I quit watching to see how long they were because of the intensity. I was beggining to wonder if this girl would come fast and if we'd make the 25 min drive to North Austin.
My doula decided to come over and be with me. Later she had concerns of K's positioning because of what I was telling her about the intensity. Soooo glad we got a doula. She had helped mama's with over 250 births, so she had seen quite a lot of different situations. When she got there she asked me a bunch of questions about the pain and then asked me where I was feeling K move the most. I only remember her telling me that she was guessing that K had gotten herself turned around and was facing my hip. She turned out to be right, because at the end not only was K caught but her head was facing hip.... Oh, let me tell ya that was painful even with an epidural. Ok, back on track. Ruth suggested I lay as close as I could to being on my stomach with out hurting and that this would make K turn. I did that for awhile but then became VERY cold and wanted to warm up in our big bathtub. I figured since I had gone from sweating like a pig to freezing that I was close to transition stage.
It was approaching 5 am and T-rav (who had been up most of the night because he heard talking when Ruth got there) suggested that we either think about going to the hospital now to avoid traffic up Mo-Pac or wait till 9 when it's not so bad. The intensity of the labor had down a little and I was sure she had moved positions. Never once did I fear uterine rupture, but rather I was afraid that while the hospital said yes to me laboring there, and all the mid wives and OB's at my Dr's office assured me that I would not be put on a time limit before they would make my Dr to a cesarean, I still wasnt convinced. I'd been apart of a bait and switch before and you tend to get a little gun shy.
I didn't want the boys to see me in pain like that because I didn't want to freak C out. He was just barely 2 and kind of clingy to mommy. So we called our nanny to come over and we headed up to the hospital at 5:15 am. The 2 things that I remember most about the car ride is that when we went over Lady Bird Lake I was in the middle of a contraction and the bumps in the road from the bridge connections were so painful to me. I remember telling T-rav to drive faster the bumps were killing me. The other was right after we passed downtown and was about 10 mins from the hospital, it seemed like the contractions were not coming as quickly as they were before. We got to the hospital and had to go upstairs to the Women's Center where Labor and Delivery was. I started to have another contraction in the elevator and I remember T-rav grabbing ahold of me and swaying back and forth, almost like dancing, till it passed. Such a sweet moment, that I will forever remember and love him for thinking of. And oh, gosh did that elevator move soooooo slow! But that was the last contraction I had.....for at least another hour.
So we go upstairs and apparently T-rav had called our OB on-call line because the mid wife that I cried to back at the beginning of Dec was there with a great big smile on her face, waiting. I was taken back to Maternal observation and they strapped me up to start observing the contractions, baby's heart rate and checking me in. My midwife checked me and had a very disappointing look on her face. My contractions had stopped, and I was only dilated to 1 cm and only 60% effaced. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??!! I started to cry! What a waste of the past 8 hours. I was also exhausted because at this point I had been up for 24 hours straight and had only had about 5 hours on Sat night. Sleeplessness brings me to an emotional breakdown WITH OUT the added emotions of being in labor. The midwife suggested we sit tight for a bit because she was about to not be on call any more and Dr Sebestyen was on her way in. The cool thing about that practice is that who ever is on call at the hosptial STAYS at the hospital all day. So there's no need to call the Dr/midwife over, she's already there down the hall, waiting on the baby, not forcing it because she has appts stacked up back at the office.
So we waited another 40 mins or so for Dr Sebestyen to come give her input. T-rav and I were alone in the room with Ruth, our doula, and so we prayed. For strength, discernment for just His will.
Dr Sebestyen came back with the midwife and with a game plan. To go walk around for a bit and see what happens. This is not something a girl that has labored all night wants to hear. Dr Sebestyen encourages all her patients to get a doula if they can because when situations arise and Dr's can't stay with you, it's great to have someone who knows how to help a mama be there. Ruth had worked with Dr Sebestyen many times and it was obvious they knew what they were talking about and Ruth had a game plan for us when we left. I was so glad to have her direction because T-rav and I were discouraged.
So we "thought" we would go walk around and come back if the contractions started again....BUT God had another plan. So since I was a VBA2C and the hospital had given special permission for this scenario, the head nurse in charge came in because she had her job on the line if something happened to baby K. Fair enough. Her terms for us leaving (because we hadn't checked in yet, so we were free to leave, but if we did go ahead and check in with the hopes of the labor returning we would not be able to leave and we even got the weird feeling that they would make our Dr do a cesarean. You kind of have to play by the hospitals rules when youre there). OK so her terms for us to leave was that I had to lay there for an hour so that they could get a good record of the baby's heart beat so that when I left and if something were to happen their butts were covered. Fine, just whatever. I wanted to lay down forever anyway cause I was exhausted. I decided to take a nap while they got their read. Well I thought that I fell asleep for 2 straight hours with no contractions going on, but apparently while I slept Ruth said I was having contractions that were pretty strong. Ladies, I hadn't had any drugs by this point, how in the heck could I sleep through contractions for 2 hours.....by God's grace that's how. I was at perfect peace with how things would turn out, so just give me the zzzz's. Of course the hour of monitoring turned into 2 because the nurses got busy and forgot to come back and check on me. So when I woke up I asked how long it had been and noticed that the rumbling was back but not quite as intense as it was all night long. T-rav said that he decided to just let me sleep as long as I would so I could get some rest. Love that man, can I say it enough?
So the nurse sees that I've been having contractions since she left me there and that all is well with baby K inside. Dr Sebestyen comes back in and says I'm free to go if I want to go walk around. I ask if she could check me before we go just to see if a walk is in order or if we should just go back home. The other policy of most midwives and this particular OB is not to check the dilation a ton, because cause for infection and it can mess with the mama's head where she can get anxious and stall her labor. I only got checked when I asked for it, the entire time I was in labor. So she checked again and the excitement in her face was awesome and encouraging.....at 9:30 am, only 3 hours since I was 1st checked and was only at 1 cm and 60% effaced, I was now at 100% effaced and at a 6. Folks, I slept through it!!! Thank you God for that tidbit.
Dr S said that she wouldn't let me leave at that point cause I was in full labor. This was 11 hours into it. I was thinking "surely this baby girl will be here by noon." Um, no.
So we got moved to a room. I got my own private nurse because I was a VERY SPECIAL case at the hospital, but I love that my Dr didn't treat me like that. I was planning on doing natural birth, but was willing to surrender to drugs if need be. My strange thinking was if I get drugs it will stall things and I'll end up with an c-section. I made it to 6 cm with J before I got the epidural and it seemed like everything went downhill after that. I was determined to do it differently if I could to get a different result. So I got to the room and got settled. The contractions were definietly kicking up now and things seemed like they were going to move quickly. I was breathing really well through them (no not lamaze, just controlled normal breathing. I tend to hold my breath when I'm in pain, so having a doula who monitored that well was awesome. T-rav had never been in labor before so he didn't know what to expect or how to help me). I was getting really tired and still wasn't feeling that Pushy feeling that Ruth said I would feel. So at about 1:30 pm I asked to be checked again. I was only at 8 cm. We were moving into uncharted territory because even tho this was baby #3, my body had never labored beyond an 8. It was getting really intense and I was getting more and more exhausted. I started to cry hard during one contraction because I didn't think I could do it one more hour. I had been up at this point for nearly 2 days and just felt helpless. I started to cry and said "I'm so sorry, could I please have an epidural? I just can't keep on, that way we all can just get some rest." I felt like a failure at that moment but I'm so glad that NO ONE suggested it to me, that I was able to make that decision all on my own. I could see relief in T-rav's eyes and Ruth assured me that I was not a failure for asking for drugs. I think I mentioned that I felt like one.
So at 3:30 the man with the magic meds came in and made all my napping dreams come true. I was OUT within a few mins after he left the room. I slept for about an hour, mind you I could still feel the contractions so it wasn't real sleep but it was still way better than what I was doing before that. Then woke up around 5 pm and said "I think I feel the need to push." Dr S came in and said I still had 1/2 cm to go but if I wanted to start and had the urge then lets start getting this baby out. Oh how I wish I could say that she came quickly after that, but no. Every heard that song "waiting on a woman" by Brad Paisley? Well K must be a true lady cause boy does that girl make us wait, starting with day 1. hahahaha!
I would push for about 30 mins and then take a 15 min break. I do remember this time being fun tho. Isnt that weird? I was changing positions to get her head to go down a little more and in between pushing we would make Seinfield jokes. Had our L&D nurse in stitches at one point. I do remember her telling me that it was one of the funnest deliveries she's ever had. I know that that could only come from the Holy Spirit. I mean when you are in a position like that (pun intended) you might as well laugh and find humor in it. I'm so thankful for the gift of joy that God has given to me at times like that.
So the reason it was taking to long to get that little toot to join us was because her head was caught on my cervix, so she would back up a little each time I would push. My Dr worked hard stretching things out and helping so that we could just get this over with. T-rav swore he would NOT watch her be born but by the time she was nearly out he was over that. So I started pushing at 5 pm and at 8:43 pm on Monday, June 18, 2012, Miss K became apart of our family. When she came out Dr S immediately put her on my tummy and started to rub her. She took my hand and told me, rub her mom. She was purple and only wimpering a little. There wasn't anything wrong, she was just a newly born baby. I still don't have words to describe how I felt as I held this tiny little girl. I had never held a brand new baby like that. The boys were taken out and cleaned off and I never even to got see their little bodies till hours later because they had to staple my stomach up and drug me up with a ton of morphine. It was just a surreal moment that I'm so glad i got to experience. They didn't cut her cord right away but waited till it ran clear, which we asked for. She also didn't leave my arms for a good 45 mins. I finally handed her over so they could weigh her and do all that other stuff. She nursed right away and never had a problem with the latch. She weighed 7 lbs 5 oz and was 18 in long. They gave her back to me and I think it was almost 10 pm before my very patient husband said, "can I please hold her?". He got to hold both of the boys first, and so I think he was trying to let me heal from those moments of having to miss out. What a great way to end my child birthing years.
She has been such a blessing to us since we first found out about her. My walk with My God has changed so much because of the gift of her. It changed a little with the boys, but more so with her because she was a girl and I knew the struggles she would face one day. I still am addicted to getting my mind healed more and more through My Healer, so that I can be a mom that the boys need and woman Kasey would want to grow up to be. I want my children to want what I have with the Lord. It's the only prayer I have for them, that they would love Him as much as I have learned to love Him.
1 comment:
It is so amazing that moms can remember distinct details of the day God handed us His creations in the flesh. I hope I get as teary eyed in 20 years as I do in the past 4 when I remember the days I was so blessed with my girls when they were handed to me. What an amazing story - thank you for sharing. Miss you, sweet friend.
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