"what did you want to be when you grew up?" he asked. I stood there bewildered at the question. To be honest I couldn't even remember what I wanted to do that day and now someone was asking me to remove myself from the moment of chasing to wild bouncy balls (it's my analogy for these two boys) and think. Think waaaaayyyy back to a time that I don't know if existed only in my dreams. A time when the world was small to me, as I was a small child, and I had lots of time to dream up what I "wanted to be." My urge is to go into some deep thinking here and share what I perceive what could be the difference between what we "dream" and what "God desires for us", but for the sake of entertaining you I won't bore you. I'll keep it nice and surfacey.
In response to the nice man's question (the nice man was a Papa enjoying some time with the grand-offspring at the park) I said "you know, now that I think of it, I remember I wanted to be a math teacher, because I really liked math and summer vacations. But now that I'm older and have found other interests, I think that my most attainable dream would be that I do something with design. My most un-attainable dream would be that I were a Pro on Dancing With The Stars, because I love to dance." This may shock some of you, or this may firm up some notions you may have had about me being a little, shall I say, off? It's OK, I think T-rav thinks I'm off most days of the week, so I've grown used to that smile that says, "I love you even if I don't understand the words coming out of your mouth".
I asked J what he wanted to be when he grows up. The boy LOVES to talk about the future, so there was no need to pry it out of him. He wants to be a Paleontologist (thanks to Dino Dan and the 3 or 4 documentaries he watches over and over. Yes you read that right, the 4 yr old is obsessed with documentaries on the Netflix....gets it from his dad), he's going to marry Rachel (Rachel you ask? I don't think he knows a Rachel, but the boy swears he's going to marry a girl named this) and he's going to live in WY. Now I can just hear the grandparentals jumping for joy as they read this. Score a win for ya'll, you may end up with a Kinley in WY yet! The funny part is when he's telling you this, he has no hesitation in his voice. He's for sure and for certain about it. Now I normally wouldn't take much stock in his certainty, but I have come to wonder a bit about the boy's prophetic ability. Let's expand a little on that shall we?
Last year when I wrote
this post I had no idea that a year later, low and behold, I would indeed be giving J the 2nd baby that he wanted. Another time, he told a friend of mine that she needed to have another baby so his friend could be a big sister....bold isn't he? Well a few weeks later she found out she was pregnant. I'm not saying he's got a gift, I mean it was the new thing he was experiencing with Calvin and he wanted all his friends to have the same fun as him, but the boy might have something. There's a few other things that I can't remember, but T-rav reminded me of the other night that he had talked about, we thought he was crazy, but yet here they were. I wish I could remember. I'll have to ask him tomorrow, as he's sleeping peacefully next to me now. Dang hormones won't let me conk out for longer than 5 or 6 hours so I make sure I go to bed late so I 'm not up at 4 am wide awake. That makes for really long days.
Let's talk about the little one now. C is a pistol! I have a feeling that since J was/is so good with babies, that I'm going to get to see the other side of that coin with C. The boy gets to screaming if J sits on my lap for a millisec and he happens to notice it. I have to sit next to him at the dinner table, because he likes me as near to him as possible. He likes babies, but he's not nearly interested in them enough for me to think he would consider one as a permanent resident in our home. A friend of mine from BSF made me laugh so hard. When I described to her my fear of the "other side" she told me that her oldest was not too excited about his new baby bro 4 years ago. He was 3 1/2 and when the baby had been home for a few hours, had been crying a little, he asked his mommy if she kept the receipt caused he wanted her to return him. I'm still giggling as I think of it. She's pretty comical about it all and said you just learn to roll with it, and it takes a little extra dose of patience and time. C is a sweet little guy, so I guess he's gotta have some draw backs, after all he is only human.
He's starting to talk a whole lot now. Loves to go to bed at night ***gasp**** and even will try to climb INTO the crib. Blows my mind. He would watch Cars, all day everyday, if we allowed it. The boy is in LOVE with the fast cars. He pretends he's a race car and runs around the house making reeving sounds. He's extremely interested in using the potty and every time I change his diaper he makes a break for the bathroom saying "potty, potty" and then stands in front of it imitating what J does. I wish he was old enough to train but I know that it's just a fascination and I don't dare paddle in that creek till "it's time", mama got enough going on as it is.
I did sneak into a post about kids a picture of the upcoming baby. Thanks so much for all the heartwarming congrats. I'm still in shock some days, but mostly because hormones keep me on a daily roller coaster, or as T-rav puts it "all aboard the train wreck of emotions!" which makes me laugh so hard. I love to laugh and that man knows just how to turn things into a joyful, fun moment.
Here's a little personal bit for ya.....I have to admit that it was at first VERY humiliating to tell people we were expecting. I think I went 3 or 4 weeks with just the 2 of us knowing. T-rav and I have had a running joke for so long when people always said "accidents happen" to which we would respond, ya know we have perfected prevention, remember we went 8+ years with out children. Clearly we were quite confident in our tactics of prevention. So I will tell you that this child was in the plan that we didn't have but God always had planned for future generations. T-rav is overly joyed about it because he knows it's God's will, so God will do some awesome things to provide for some needs that I'm concerned about. Which, of course, He already has. One of my big ones was I didn't know who was going to help when I went into labor, but already, without even mentioning my impending nervousness, a friend has already said "I can do anything for 24 hours, so the boys will be at our house playing with our kids". They have 6 between the ages of 15 and 2. 4 by birth, last 2 by adoption. They are an amazing, Godly family that I know for sure and for certain that God brought to TX from Chicago just for us (well probably more reasons, but we are apart of that plan too). Some other amazing moments as well, but I won't go into them because it will give you more insight into my "train wreck of emotions" and there are just somethings that need to be left alone, ha! ha! I'm learning that God never gives up. We are all constantly changing, spinning on the pottery wheel, being molded. Some of us need a little more water at times so we can be a little more flexible to His what He's shaping us to be. He's gracious, abounding in love. He's shown up in huge ways for me so much this year, and I'm fighting the urge to think that He's "alld done" with providing. He'll provide for all the things I'm concerned about. I just need to give it to Him, especially since I have no control over what will happen early next summer. GOD IS FAITHFUL!
We are getting ready for Christmas and I'm tying to really look at why and how as a nation, and even more importantly as a Christian we celebrate Christmas. I've re-evaluated things I did last year and things I want to change, I'll go into that in a bit but first thing this year I've incorporated is a fabulous idea I got from Pinterest. Golly what did we all do before this grand little idea came along? Anyway, last year we made a chain out of construction paper for J to cut off a ring each day to help him countdown to the big day. This year we turned that into an advent calendar, with the help from a lady I found on Pinterest. Each day has 1 to 5 scriptures surrounding the events up to, around and after the birth of Jesus. It's fun to see J so excited to cut off a ring each morning and help me find the scripture we are to read. Since the story has started on Dec 1 for him, each morning we try to remember what we read the day before. Some days it's more of a learning lesson for me as my memory is a fog these days and the way the scriptures are set up to last a full 25 days, it bounces around a lot from the fore-telling of Christ coming in Isaiah to Luke's recount of the birth and even some others. J's memory amazes me as well as his ability to absorb all the details that I had always taken for granted and never really explored before. He's teaching me more times than I'm teaching him......definetly more a scholar like his daddy.
Now I may offend some of you and let's just put this out there.....I'M NOT JUDGING YOU or even putting this on here to make you feel tension about the way you do Christmas. Lord help us if we don't already try to be so competitive or defensive about so much that doesn't even matter. I'm just sharing what I feel is a conviction in my heart and how we have decided to keep the focus a little different than some traditions that our nation does. If your family does it different than ours, then by golly go to it. No judgement here. I'm just sharing my thoughts on it, that's ALL!!!!!!
So since I've said that I'll elaborate a little.....Most of you may know that we don't do the big fat man in the red suite. I don't take my kids to see him (we have a pic with J once at 1 year but it was really uncomfortable), mostly because I knew they would scream at sitting on a strangers lap, and I'm not a fan of creating more work for myself. This also stemmed from when I was 7 and asked Jesus into my heart and to forgive my sins. The truth about Santa came to my attention when Christmas rolled around about 5 months after my conversion. Looking back I do always remember being creeped out by my parents, who were door locking nazi's, that they would allow a complete stranger into our house 1 night a year......while we slept even. I still think that idea is creepy. Then I also a few times questioned if Jesus was just another "magical" thing I had to believe in until the truth would come out a few years later. I knew the moment that I got saved that He was real, but spiritual battle starts early, even if you are young. I had talked to T-rav about it and he had agreed that lying to a kid was not really his cup a tea, especially for the sake of "tradition." I also didn't like the whole notion of being good just to get gifts. That just feeds the already born trait of selfishness. The gifts around here are very limited, being from an idea that I got from a wise lady. We give 5: 1)something to eat (they are each getting their own box of bunny fruit snacks....shhhhh! don't be a hater and spoil it for them now) 2) something to wear 3) something to play with 4)something to read 5) some $ to give away.....where is their choice, but something that is listed on our list of options, which is local charities or buy a gift for a needy child. #5 will be done the 1st time this year because clearly J wasn't old enough last year. I want him to learn that Christ came into this world to give His life for us. He was a gift for all the world, just as the angel told the shepherds the night He was born.
Earlier this year I discovered a non-profit called "
Little Helping Hands". A local mom wanted to teach her kids about volunteering but noticed there was not a lot of things out there readily available to take her children to help out. So she created this organization that coordinates various opportunities one month at time, with different days and times to choose from. That's one great thing about living in Hippy-ville, they love to volunteer! Actually you will most likely find more non-faith, non-profits here in A actually doing more for the "least of these" in our community than you will find actual believers doing. Sadly I fall into the category of being caught up in the business of these babies, but I'm learning from real servant Christ followers already living in this culture to get out there and work along side them. Don't out-do them or compete with them, just show up and do what Christ as commanded, but do it without a hidden agenda and God will provide opportunities to glorify Him!
J and I have served this month wrapping gifts that were donated to the Dept of Family Services for kids in need. It was a lot of fun spending our "date" serving those who don't have as much. J asked a lot of question, enjoyed getting to wrap presents for other kids and he even made a new friend to hang out with. Obviously we all want our kids to see that giving to those in need is really important and that while giving to those who are already blessed is fun at times too, we should really remember that there are people who are lonely and don't know Jesus, and the holidays are hard for them. We knew a few people in our neighborhood that fit this bill exactly and are thinking through with J on how we can share with them.
Our intent is for these children to know that "IT'S NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY!". We make the day God brought you into this earth a big day for them around here, but I want them to realize why we go to the trouble to put up all these decorations just to take them down again in 3 weeks, and to know that we don't just do this during December but all year. December can though get you into some softer hearts than other times, as the Holiday gets people in a different frame of mine.
Some other thoughts I had to get to some of these conclusions for us is that there is a lot of festivals in the Bible with some instructions concerning them, but nowhere does it say that we are to celebrate the birth of Jesus. There's no instructions on this because Christ has set us free from the old law and in that freedom we can choose to remember these wonderful things however we want. That makes it hard if you're a rule follower but for someone like me who has a rebellious spirit, this just screams OPPORTUNITY! Opportunity to make Christ known to a world that is more receptive to it than any other time of they year.
K so now I'm getting tired and I'm going to hit the hay. No pictures again this time around, but I'll try to get some up soon. We took the boys on a little retreat to the Great Wolf Lodge.....it was a nice little break for us to recharge as a family. Course the boys had a blast....I'll try to get some of those pics up soon.
Merry Christmas!
