Comforting, random style

Sometimes what I'm struggling with I can't really describe into words. Never to be as one known for my "eloquent way of speaking or writing" so the things that end up on here mostly resemble what some now-Kindergarteners book reports read like, and that's reaching most days.

So as I was sorting through all the junk mail we get (seriously...where's the tree huggers when it comes to this? I say Hippies unite! And y'all join up together to stop the innocent slaying of trees all in the name of weekly sales! I digress......) when I happened along a little envelope which enclosed a small card that was addressed to this girl. ***picture lots of smiles on my face*** To be honest, I'm starting to trek backwards. I dumped FB and since then feel as if I've been liberated from digitalized communication. Between all these ways of connecting with folks I think the art of a hand-written note is lost....I'm mostly talking to myself here because there is a WHOLE slew of people that come to mind regularly but I never drop a line (who uses that saying anymore?) to tell them so, starting with our very own family up north. Oh how 1400 miles will sometimes seems like 1/2 a world away, sorry I really do love y'all up there. Where was I going with this!? Seriously. Doh! Ok back to the note.....so I open the note from  this friend who is praying hard with/for me and had quoted something from a recent blog post. So after all that dog-and-pony show, here's what I'm trying to get at: 

 It makes sense that the Holy Spirit is called a Comforter, because if you actually follow where he leads you, you're going to need one. 

Our suffering here in the great lone star state (oh no I did-ent capitalize that! Bring it, you crazy texans...oh, snap! I did it again!) is NOTHING in comparison to others around the globe. For us? Our family? Living back in what I lovingly refer to our previous city "the promised land" is completely different because, well let's face it...Austin IS weird! But as God has clearly told me....Stop looking back! Stop doubting! Stop looking at yourself! (oh my selfish, sinful heart...augh!)

And then after that little moment with the Lord I read this a few days later:

Isaiah 43:18-19

The Message

"Forget about what's happened;
   don't keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new.
   It's bursting out! Don't you see it?
There it is! 

So what I couldn't some up in my own words, God placed it on a prayerful friends heart and had them send it my way. How bout we read it one more time, just cause I like to repeat things to send the message home for anyone needing a little extra comfort:

 It makes sense that the Holy Spirit is called a Comforter, because if you actually follow where he leads you, you're going to need one. 

 g'nite, sleep peacefully

PS in case I may have stirred up some worry, my struggles right now are good ones.....we are stepping out in faith and following Christ to be a light for Him in a dark part of the SW corner of this city. Therefor spiritual battle is real, should not be overlooked as well as over glorified. We are learning and as a great result are growing. I now see why God brought us here, and it's a little difficult to live with the pain of not having my peeps that are in the mommy trenches with me close by, but so much greater to know that we are in His will for us! 

BUT, you know......I've discovered that there are moms here! with babies! That are my boys ages too!....go figure (that's a bit of sarcasm, for those of you who aren't familiar with this mouth)

on a roll

More pictures!

OK, that's just a tease, but I do feel like I'm on a roll. This blog comes in waves....only because I've been writing things down elsewhere and this gets to play 2nd fiddle now. I do want make one quick memory tid-bit...... I wish I had a picture last night because we had another 1st. We were walking into our Bible Study (Effective Parenting in a Defective World by Chip Ingram....HIGHLY RECOMMEND!) and usually it's the 3 of us walking and someone toting C. Well he wanted down to walk with brother, so T-rav set him down and he ran up next to J and was walking right along side him as they led us into the building. It was so adorable, heart-wrenching, and relieving all at the same time. 2 brothers walking side by side, one clearly leading the other trying hard to keep up, showing me a glimpse into the future of bigger boys and realizing that I don't always have to have that growth on my hip anymore........thank you Lord that it does get easier and that they do grow up, but PLEASE always protect them as the storms rage in their lives as they grow.

***there are WAY more pics of C in here than J ONLY because J is on a picture-strike right now and C is still a trained little monkey that smiles when the orange light on the camera illuminates (one for mommy, I used a grown up word right there!)***

C is his father's son.....loves, loves, loves boots. He will get into our closet and try to put on daddy's, which are taller than his little legs.....too cute! Here he is pulling on his camoboots....he's the 3rd little boy to enjoy stomping around in these

He walks so funny in boots

reaching out to pinch Elmo's nose.....he loves the honking sound it makes

He goes crazy for the deer out back

rain, what sweet rain we've gotten so little of. I think this was taken back at the beginning of May

He loves rain showers

Enjoying his first popsicle....I made them myself and I have to admit they are pretty tasty. Agave nectar doesn't freeze very well so you have to eat them fast

J loves the lime ones.....he calls them "lime pop-stickles"

Going birdin.......He loves looking for the little birds in the trees

These little $.50 punch balls bought hours of entertainment. You know where I got them? I'm not even going to say, cause y'all know!

He's getting super skilled with the scissors these days

C found J's boots in his closet. J helping him put them on

1st time sitting together at the "new" breakfast table. This is the reason daddy built the boys one for outside, they love eating together in the mornings

I wished I would've gotten the mirror in here too.....he was checking himself out in it, too funny

sometimes J will have woken up super early and has learned to not wake mommy till the clock says "7" on it. Well on this particular morning C must've woken up early too and J just went in to keep him company. I awoke to the sound of 2 little boys giggling and knew I had to bust them with camera in hand......my trained little monkeys waving as I walked in

C watching J climb out.....oh the examples he is exposed to all day

He stopped at the door and said "good morning, mom!" with such excitement

How this...

...can go to...

....this! Boys!

J playing hide-n-seek with the large gorilla at the zoo in Ft W, where as C is always a little more curious

What in the heck are those, brother?

There is an exhibit of these creatures all through-out the zoo and they move and roar too! I thought they were interesting and so did C

J was a little more apprehensive about getting close to the dinosaur. I pray that he always errors on the side of caution with "giants" in his life. His personality is so that he won't try new things unless he's absolutely sure he will do well at it. It's a 2-sided coin really and comes down to perfection, which can have a very ugly head at times. I'm thankful that God opens my eyes to see these things in my children so I can start asking for discernment now.

C on the train.....he looks concerned and I'm certain it's because I have poor timing with the camera, because I do remember a lot of smiles and squealing.

And Mr. Experienced over here. This boy spent the first 2 years of his life at the zoo....such a great place for kids to run and play.

They have a little play barn in the back part and C loved hitting the button on each of the animals to hear their sounds

back home, eating a snack and expressing the many silly faces of C

leading by example. He was showing brother how to "grrr to get the fronts cleaned."

C hasn't learned the "grr" yet

Man's work

I think everyone thinks they have the best daddy as their husband or even their own daddy. I personally think that too, but I don't want to ever down play all the other great daddy's out there.

That being said, we have the best daddy for our little family! T-rav is so gentle, patient, fun-loving and just plain silly with our 2 little guys. J talks about how when he grows up and becomes a daddy his name will be Travis. His daddy is his hero!

T-rav built the boys a picnic table so they could enjoy eating in the great outdoors more and mommy could enjoy just hosing off the back porch for clean up.......perfect! J helped daddy through-out the process and kept referring it to his "man's work"....

J cleaning up the scrap pieces and C sweeping in the background

J so excited that I came out to photograph him using the electric sander.

It was sooo hot out that day......T-rav looks miserable, but he never likes to leave anything un-finished. I remember being able to be like that.....about 4 1/2 years ago

watching brother with intent....while holding his watermelon. He had just gotten up from his nap and his sleeve was un-buttoned. The boy is usually starving right when he gets up so it's best not to get distracted from getting him food otherwise it's meltdown city....this includes messing with his attire ;-)

J multi-tasking. He's not one to stop the fun to eat, so notice how he is still sanding but reaches out for brother's watermelon to get himself a quick bite

J is the ONLY one C will share his food with......I'm glad because C is a food pirate these days. Poor J better eat it quick cause C will nab it fast.

Daddy teaching J how to blow the dust off of the table with the air-compressor to get it ready to paint

He really is great help

helping daddy paint it "blanco" (T-rav is trying hard to remember his spanish skills by teaching J as much as he can remember....maybe colors are all he can remember at this point...lol!). I was shocked when they came home from the Home D with that color, I really thought he would pick his favorite color, red.

I love this picture because you can see C's little feet dangling down......almost can touch

Sharing some strawberries......my cup is full of joy with these 2!!

Crazy little thing called L-O-V-E

Some days I need to be spoon fed His word because getting time to read anything is impossible, directly caused by being blessed with a full nest. So today when I was listening to a podcast from IFL this tidbit from the message resonated with me, in a good way.....for once.

A Chuck Swindoll paraphrase of a proverb-

"We can really be picky people. It takes a Heavenly appetite to enjoy a Heavenly food. Where there's a peace of God and where there's a hunger for God, you'll eat whatever is placed before you. You do it with gratitude. Better is a little dish of herbs than a big 'ol t-bone steak with out the blessing of God."

A few weeks ago an almost miraculous thing happened to me and I've been not only in awe of it, but I notice that it has changed my outlook on everything that effects my life. I know that I know for certain that I prayed the sinners prayer when I was 7 years old and at that moment I was saved by grace. I know that I know that at the age of 22 God got a hold of my life, our marriage, and took it captive for His own. And on May 18, 2011 I know for sure and for certain that God took me deeper into His love........ never in my life have I known love like this before.

Love had confused me before, it was something that I showed for others hoping that they would "like" me or (if I was lucky) they would love me in return. It was conditional, if I performed the way they wanted to see me then I could get them to love me and not just like me. If they wanted funny, funny I would be. If they liked a little more sass, sassy I would be. If caring was more what they saw in me, then I would go out of my way to be caring for that individual. See the craziness I was on? I had no idea who God really made me and was at times embarrassed/ashamed of the personality He had given me. On that morning of May 18th, God grabbed ahold of me and showed me a small glimpse of how much he LOVED me. He loves me for me. He knitted me together, short legs and all, in my mommy's tummy over 30 years ago. He knew how easy my birthday would be for my husband to remember. He knew that my hair would slowing turn brown over the years making run for the hills of hair color to keep the local cosmotologists fed. He knew that I would be groomed by an out-doors man of a dad, and tom-boy of a mom and an older brother who made it his success in life to make sure his little sister knew how to hit like a boy. He made me for His purpose not for anyone else's entertainment. Yes, I still have a very sinful nature that needs to be dealt with regularly. Candor can be used for evil sometimes if not taken under the control of the Holy Spirit. My mouth has gotten me into more jams that I can count......augh, but the grace of God is showing me how He loves despite those flaws. Wow!

So now that I've gotten just a small glimpse of His pure love for me, it's setting me free from so much that had held me back before.

I'm talking about and remembering funny things about people that I swore I could never love again. That only comes directly from the overflow of love that I'm feeling in my heart. Never again will I ever try to feel the intimate love from someone on this earth that was only intended to be from the One who created me. Talking about setting myself and others up for failure!

He's up to something..... something that is the exact opposite of anything I ever thought He wanted from me......something called LOVE.

PS....I heart this song.

lost photos

These are from Gramie's camera when we visited up north a few months ago....too cute!

J pretending to be mommy......Aren't sunglasses suppose to be a hair accessory?

C's 1st bday cake/party with family. J picked it. C kinda liked it. And mommy needed a nap. I noticed that here lately I'm starting to do this smile more and more in pictures. I think it's because I'm tired so I don't feel like my eyes are fully open....therefore I force them open.....and this is the result. Terrify, no?