Christmas Player

We (with added input from T-rav) have placed what some might call, an annoying playlist, of music at the bottom of this blog for your listening entertainment this Holiday Season.

I think you'll know right away which songs I have added to this and which ONE song would be the input of T-rav. Not that I'm not a fan of the song, I just feel as if I can relate to it a little too well....lol!

Hope they give you at least a smile, and maybe hopefully a giggle too.

Tis the season!

Kids

I'm a little sentimental right now about the sound of little feet. These little boys are at such a perfect age. J turning into a 4 year with little to no tantrums anymore (unless he's hungry, which shows he's growing into the testosterone filled guy that God made him) and C a curious 18 month old, pre-terrible 2's. Lots of laughter between the 2 of them when they are playing. This mamarazzi **wink, wink** tries to spy around corners to capture these adorable sounds on the video camera.

I started listening to Christmas music yesterday and heard one of my favs from the Statler Brothers (I'm old school with music). I decided to use the lyrics as inspiration for the picture roll......my boys, being well, boys!

trying to hide from The Mamarazzi...a true star ;-)

Hunting buddies at Cabela's

We spent one day last month bumping around on 4-wheelers on a ranch of a friend's out in the Hill Country.

Helping dad rotate the tires

I love his style, even while doing man's work :-)

sitting on it turned boring the other day. He gets this thing going so high when he stands on it, scares me to death sometimes

trying to climb it while "doing a trick". not quite sure what the trick was, but he scaled this 1/2 way up all while hanging off the side

C's favorite way to swing. you can hear him say "weeee" all the way from inside the house.
he will do this for a good 45 mins.

One of my favorite pictures of them. 

stomping through the soaked flower bed

Is there anything better than getting soaked and muddy?

My little savages

If it weren't for kids have you ever thought
There wouldn't be no Santa Clause
Look what the stork just brought
Thank God for Kids

We'd all live in a quiet house
Without Big Bird or a Mickey Mouse
And Kool-aid on the couch
Thank God for Kids

Thank God for kids there's magic for a while
A special kind of sunshine in a smile
Do you ever stop to think? or wonder why?
The nearest thing to Heaven is a child

Daddy how does this thing fly?
A hundred other where's and why's
You really don't know but we try
Thank God for Kids

When you look down in those trustin eyes
That look to you, you realize
Its love that you can't buy
Thank God for Kids

Thank God for there's magic for a while
A special kind of sunshine in a smile
Do you ever stop to think? or wonder why?
The nearest thing to Heaven is a child

When you get down on your knees tonight
To thank the Lord for his guiding light
And pray they turn out right
Thank God for Kids

And thank God for surprise gifts that you don't plan for, but He directs you to anyway............

Baby Kinley #3......Estimated Arrival: June 15, 2012 :-)

The glory road

I want to make it clear that my last post was a bit too "glorified". I shared a story that ended with a sense of a rose parade and made me look like a woman of great valor. True it was a sad place I got myself too, but I painted it as though this would be an ending that I would always experience.

Sadly, no. I remember this one the best because it was a time that God dealt with me graciously BEFORE I obeyed Him. I just got to see the joyful outcome by being obedient and because He allowed these people in their hearts to have mercy on me.

A good question to think of, when people ask me to forgive them no matter the offense, do I offer the same mercy as I was given?

The answer: Sometimes. Maybe. No, not often, if it's my husband

I think I offer a fake forgiveness, but tend to not wipe the slate clean, waiting to pounce back on my ivory tower when he may fall short again.

What, Travis fall short? Um, if I remember right, he's only human. Is there a human on this earth that has attained the ever lusted after "perfectionism." Some may think so in their own eyes, but if you usually ask the person who lives with them, you will get quite a different story.

The way to fix this sin in my heart......PRAYER!

To ask God to give me His eyes to see T-rav, to help me fall in love with him over and over again, and to ask for discernment and insight on how to be a wife that doesn't make him stumble. T-rav may not show kindness in during an argument, but it's a whole heck of a lot easier to be unkind to someone that is pushing your buttons, than it is to be unkind to someone who is completely genuine and sensitive to the needs that he has. Since I too am only human, the only way that I could come close to being that person is to employ the help of the One who made the both of us.

Through, you guessed it, Prayer!

I'm praying this verse for my mouth
"A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare." Proverbs 15:1

Prayer request vs old fashion gossip

 I love transparency, and not the type that makes the person out to be a victim either. I'm talking about people who cut to it straight and say "look I've done it this way, it was wrong, the Bible was clear about it and yet I still did it knowing that I should've turned from it. So learn from me and my mistake, steer clear, you'll be wiser if you did." THAT kind of transparency! People who are mature and willing to say, hey I struggle with this certain area and I'm willing to admit it.

So that being said I want to share a story with you from something that I did last year, something that I feel so strongly about now that I'm willing to look like a fool for the sake of spurring others on in their walk with the Lord. I'm more interested in pleasing God than looking like a perfect follower of Christ, praise Him that He doesn't give up on me and that He is continuing to answer my prayer that He burn the fake right out of me.

In a one on one lunch with one of my favorite girls that was a student at our old church, she shared with me that her parents were divorcing. Instantly, my heart broke for her as she described what was happening at home. As she spoke, a broken dam of bottled up emotions came flooding in my mind. It was almost as if she was painting a picture of my own situation surrounding my parents divorce 10 years ago. The similarities where hitting so close to home that I could feel a rush of pain shoot through my heart, because I knew all too well what she would go through the next few years. It almost crushed me. I held her close and prayed with her and then shared with her my own story, briefly, to which she felt safe to share more with me.

I went home that night just broken. I cried for my own pain that I still dealt with from time to time (divorce is so hard, even if you're grown and gone once it happens) and also cried for her because I knew in her heart she was heading down a path of hatred, one that I knew all too well. So for the next few days, this situation was at the fore-front of my mind. I would like to say that I prayed for her often, but sadly no. I was too focused on what she was setting herself up for that I let it be my consuming thought, not ever turning it completely over to the Lord, who was the One in control of it all anyway. Duh, as if God was in complete shock like myself? Um, NO!

So in my self consuming thought pattern (notice I said SELF) I thought, "well, I just have to get more people to pray for her. People who I know will pray!" I picked up the phone and called a very wise and Goldy friend who knew her family personally but had not been privy to this new information about the family circumstances. I shared with her the news, my concern and asked her to please pray for this girl and for God to intervene miraculously. Sounds innocent enough, right? WRONG! This is where I went wrong. This is where I took it from prayer request to old fashion gossip. I was so consumed with my self thinking and not continually taking it to the Lord in prayer myself that I didn't even know that I had sinned. My heart was so calloused by ME that I couldn't even hear the Holy Spirit whispering in my soul the word "no". I let my emotions over take the truth of God's word. Never rely on what you are feeling because let me tell ya, your feelings will get you in more trouble. Our feelings can't be trusted, only trusting God by reading what His truths and promises are in the Bible.

I love this friend so much because she right then called me out on what I was doing. She spoke truth to me, in a gentle way, but yet was firm by saying "Um, I don't know if this is suppose to be information for me. Did she ask you to call me? I would love to pray and will for sure now, but Crissy I think you need to make sure that this is really a prayer request I need to know about. She asked you to pray about it and I feel really uncomfortable knowing about it before it's become public knowledge." Luke 17:3 Watch yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him. If he repents, forgive him.

Praise God that the Holy Spirit moved in my heart at that moment and I didn't get offended when she said this to me. Instead I woke up a little that day! I sat quietly on the phone for a moment, then apologized for exactly what I had done (which Praise God she gave me mercy and never once has held this against me! I could only imagine that she may have thought "wow, if she feels so liberated to tell me someone else's personal hurts then I better not share mine cause she may feel the need to do the same) and then excused myself as I was embarrassed. I sat and considered her words and then prayed for forgiveness from God about what I had done. I had basically turned this student's trust in me into something very worthless. Trust is something I value so much and yet here I had done the un-thinkable. If i had put myself in her shoes and would feel crushed and hurt if someone had done that to me.  Proverbs 20 (Pro 20:19 The one who goes about gossiping reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with someone who is always opening his mouth.)

Augh, I still look back and shake my head. I don't feel guilt, because the Bible says that we shouldn't continue to feel guilty for our sins that we have asked forgiveness for, but I do remember it often and thank God for His kind way of correcting me because it could have turned out worse.

But it doesn't end there. As I was confessing and asking for forgiveness, I heard the Lord speak into my spirit something that I had recently read from Matthew 5 5:23 So then, if you bring your gift to the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 5:24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother and then come and present your gift. 

Basically, I needed to go tell her what I had done and ask for her forgiveness even though I knew she would never find out about it. That was hard, but I prayed for courage and made the phone call. I explained to her exactly what I had done, how God had shown me that He had put in on my heart to PRAY, not to spread a "gossip request" along. I asked for her to forgive me and then gave her a chance to either hang up and process or respond. She responded to me with such maturity and grace. I'll never forget how she taught me how to forgive so freely that day. I will also say that I was in shock when she also thanked me for being a good example by calling her to fess up to something she would've never known about. I was speechless, and to this day thank God for His graciousness concerning that friendship.

So my application from my little mess:

When we pray for someone, especially when we know we are the only one interceding for a special need, there is such a bond that grows between those 2 people and the Lord, it's not one that I could ever describe. Prayer changes things and even the heart of the prayer. It is a great calling and should be treated with respect when someone asks you to "pray for me". I have never viewed this the same again.

Praise God for His grace, that's all I can say.

Time with 2 boys

-It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men

Frederick Douglass

I remind myself often (some days several times a day) that today does matter.

 Joyfully changing the diaper of a kicking screaming toddler, matters. Joyfully getting on the floor to help build up a block tower just to knock it down with in 1 second, matters. Joyfully listening with intent as the make believe story line is going NOWHERE slowly, matters. Joyfully cleaning up toys that have been brought into one room from every square foot of the house and then piled into the shape of a pyramid, matters. 

Basically, joyful time spent with my boys matters. I'll try to show that I like to listen now when the conversation is not so interesting to me, so hopefully later when he's a teen he might know that I like to listen to him and that what is happening in his life is interesting to me.

 I'll try to clean the toys up in a way that shows I'm happy to help him out, so that hopefully he may later help me with out complaining or grumbling. 

I'll try play the things they want to play, even though I'd rather be doing something else (c'mon ladies, let's be real, Lincoln Log building gets OLD) so that Lord willing they will come over for coffee to visit their  old mama even though they would rather be doing something else.

Can you see where I'm going with this? While I'm very thankful for these rowdy boys, God is burning the selfishness out of me......being selfish with my time. I've been denying my little boys time that they want with their mommy, all because I have this running list in my head of what needs done or what I would rather be doing. I've learned that even excessive studying of God's word over spending time with them can be selfish. It would be like learning a skill, getting the highest training for it and then never even working in the field that I was trained.

James 1:-23-24 (the NET)  For if someone merely listens to the message and does not live it out, he is like someone  who gazes at his own face  in a mirror.  For he gazes at himself and then goes out and immediately forgets  what sort of person he was.

We recently went to a "wild west fest" and the boys got to pet a lot of little animals their size. They loved this little donkey

Written better elsewhere..

My writing skills can get caught up in my emotions. Let's start it off with "i'm a girl", and end it with "processing can be confusing". In my blog post of liberating myself from a social addiction I had, "drying out" if you will, I don't think I could have expressed it in a more Godly focus than how it was done by a acquaintance who is a much more clearer writer than I.

 My hope is that this is not a problem for you and by reading this it just guards your eyes and heart even more, but if it is, please be honest with yourself and with the One who made you. I'm not pleading with you because I "have it all figured out now!", NO WAY do I even come close. There are some things that God is burning out of this heart that would make me blush if you knew about them....PRAISE GOD that I can still feel remorse today after all those years of letting my sin be justified through the worlds standard. My honest prayer is that as a body of believers in Christ we don't fall into the traps that Satan lays out for us and we so blindly walk into. Our time can and will be multiplied, just by making sure that the times of rest we take is what really feeds our need for "rest". As a girl that fell prey to this, it's my plea to others that they don't end up in the "drying out" period that I had to go through.....PLEASE, guard your heart and mind, cause He has something greater for you. As I've discovered the hard way, this world will never be able to give back the time you invest into it, only what you put into learning His nature and taking in His rest will it NEVER return void.....oh, how I have learned far too late in the game.

To see what I'm rambling about click this link:

And Facebook will give you rest.....

And now he's 4

That little boy that made me a mommy, turned 4. I'm speechless. 

I'll leave you with a couple of verses that we have dedicated to J since he was 11 days old. Please pray them with me over him, that's the best wishes you could give to the birthday boy!

Colossians 1:9-10

Since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God