whoa, Where does the time go?!

Sorry to all the Grandma's up north, I know you are dying to see pictures of the little blondie but I can't find my camera since we moved..uh oh... and I feel like it's been chaos since then. We are moved in, and mostly settled. The one thing about our house is that it doesn't have the storage that our old house had, well actually it has more, but it's up in the HUGE attic, so we are trying to design the cabinets and cubbies that Handy T-rav is going to build. (PS I love having a hubby that can fix/build just about anything, it ensures that I get exactly what I'm thinking in my head it should look like). I would love to post pics if I had a camera but I kind of want to wait till everything is in place. I know that won't happen for the 1st year, but hopefully most of it will be put where it's suppose to go during my "nesting" period....just waiting for that to kick in :-).

The change has been a little hard for Jackson and me again. I thought I was pretty flexible person, but I'm discovering that that flexibility is only with my schedule, not my home dwelling. I struggled with feeling like we made a mistake when we sold and moved out of our old house, but I thought it was because we were "wandering the dessert" at the time and hadn't found our new permanent place. Jackson was pretty versatile until the movers start moving his bed and then he fell apart...that happened during both moves. I have discovered though that since he's only two it's hard to communicate that the change is bothering him, so it comes out in other avenues. The biggest problem we are having is his sleep issues. He's been have night terrors, or as I like to call them Sleep Terrors because they don't just happen at night, it goes on during nap time too. It's hard to explain what they are. He's not dreaming and he's not awake, but he starts out by sitting up in his bed screaming a terrifying screech at the top of his lungs. His eyes are opening and shutting and/or darting around the room. When I go in there to comfort him, he's moved on to flopping around in his bed, which is where it gets kind of dangerous because he has a wood rail frame that goes all the way around his bed and I'm afraid he's going to knock himself out while he's flopping around. If I try to pick him up, it just frightens him more. I called our Dr last week because I wasn't sure if this was normal (I don't trust a lot that I read on the internet anymore), but I did notice the trend of him having these when we move or travel too much. The nurse was so kind and assured me that yes these terrors can get quite violent at times and the best thing to do is just go in and comfort the best I can and try not to restrain him or wake him. These episodes he has never last more than about 5 mins, but it sure is hard to watch your little guy suffering so. She also assured me that he has no memory of it when he wakes up, which made me feel so much better.

As for my feelings of change, no I'm not having sleep terrors, so Travis says, but I was struggling with feeling lost. I wasn't in love with our old house, but if felt very comfortable and was definitely a safe place for me. I was feeling a little sad this past week and isolated, but as always, when I start turning those thoughts into prayers He is so faithful and I have started to feel at home very quickly and not so much like a houseguest. Travis on the other hand doesn't struggle with change in where his living, his is more in dealing with schedule changes. So guess the Lord knew what He was doing after all when He paired us together...and it wasn't just because of Travis' blond hair and blues eyes like I thought...ha! ha! just kidding :-)

In baby Calvin news...... YES we have nailed down Calvin as the name, so grandma and gramie and Aunt Tammy, you don't have to be nervous about calling him that....I promise this is THE name! Little Calvin is humbling me already and he hasn't even back-talked to me in public yet. So here is me being completely transparent....you see I had this notion when I saw pregnant women waddle when they walk, that they were faking it or make it a little more dramatic than it should be. Well, the good Lord wanted me to be reminded that we tend to judge what we least understand AND that we will be judged by which the same measure we judge others. eh hem, so that is exactly what is happening. This "low lying" baby has wedged himself down low enough to hit some sort of sore spot on my already sore hip (I had surgery on this hip about 6 years ago due to an car accident) which is making me walking normal almost painful. I work very hard on not trying to walk funny all day long, which then by the end of the day I'm walking almost ridiculous because of the compensating I've been doing the other 12+ hours of the day. I had a check up the other day and my Dr said that even though it looks like the baby has dropped he really hasn't and when he does I will not only feel it but I won't be able to compensate my walk anymore. NOOOOO!!!! Doesn't this baby know that I DO NOT want to walk out my humility. I promise....I get it, I get it! I won't make fun of waddling pregnant girls in my head anymore....PLEASE Lord don't make me walk it out too!! Course my all too hilarious husband found out this deep humility lesson I'm learning and is gearing up for some good comments the last few weeks when the waddling will be in full swing.....oh, why did I think marrying someone funny would be a good idea?!

We had a major snow storm here a few weeks ago that dumped about a foot of snow at our new house and because of our perfect timing we were moving in it as well....good thing we are no strangers to snow. It actually put us ahead of schedule because Travis' office closed the day before we moved and we were able to get a lot done. I'm basically useless at this point because lifting hurts. Packing and un-packing a kitchen about killed me....in my mind I'm determined to get ton of things accomplished but my body just won't keep up. I thought there was something wrong with me, like maybe I was anemic, but my Dr reminded me that I am 8 months pregnant and chasing a 2 year old and just doing that is tiring. I'd like to add that I' am 30 years old to boot! :-)

Travis is insisting that I go with some of my friends to Austin this weekend to celebrate her 30th bday. We are leaving Friday evening and then I'll be coming back on Sunday am. The plan is to go to the spa on Sat am and then hang out the rest of the day. They are going to go on to San Marcus to shop on Sunday and since I obviously don't want to buy any clothes right now, I'm going to come back home. I'm starting to look forward to a calm and unproductive weekend.

Here are a few Jacksonese:

J: mommy does horsey's need to det der shoes on, it snowy outside

M: Yep, bud they need to get some boots huh?

J: yah, and dey need to doe inside and warm up

Just a few moments ago talking to his ball:

J: You sit sit here ball in time out or you det a spankin....o tay? You mate a dood toice ball

He was disciplining the ball because when he was throwing it up it bounced off the door and hit him in the face.

Jumping on the couch while daddy was sitting next to him:

J: Daddy, tan I jump for you?

D: Ok bud!

J: one, two, free....JUMP!

He then leaps over Daddy and lands on the other side of him on the couch

J: mommy you tan talk for me while I park dis truck here

Basically he was wanting me to ask him what he's doing so he can give me the play by play of what he's doing right in front of me....one of his favorite past times....future sports announcer, maybe?

There are a ton more and I wish that my memory wasn't so horrible right now because he says the cutest things!

God is bigger than the boogy man

Yes, I had to sing that to myself over and over again last night because yet again, I was too afraid to fall asleep because of the things that go bump in the night (aka our fridge). Travis left yesterday afternoon to go hunting and won't be back till late tonight. I was a little comfortable in our old house with him gone, but now that we are in this rental house...well let's just say I'm scared to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night WITH Travis here.

It's funny how God will bring to mind, yes I truly believe it was from the Lord, a Veggie Tales song from one of Jackson's cd's that he likes to dance to while playing. Also, the verse that Jackson is memorizing this week is Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and brave. God is with you wherever you go". I picked that verse because he's been getting stage fright when ever I drop him off for anything here lately. He'll talk it up all the way to the door, saying how excited he is, and then when it's go time he freezes with fear. Well not only has that verse helped him this week, but last night it came ringing in my ears as I was singing the Veggie Tale classic. Looks like this verse memorizing will be just as a beneficial for mommy as it is for Jackson....but when isn't it beneficial to memorize God's word?

Here's some pics as a reward for my ramblings :-)

At the Home Depot

Our big find at the house we are buying...look at that tire swing! There is also a tree fort up in the trees, but the floor will have to be replaced. The swing set is iffy, it might still be good, but we'll have to check it out more later

It was so warm here on Thursday so we ventured over to our old neighborhood to go for a walk in the walking park, which then turned rock throwing in the creek which then turned to creek stomping!

When I got home the other morning from dealing with my traffic violation (like how I church it up? hee hee) daddy was getting dressed and Jackson was watching Wonder Pets.......
like this! Travis said he must have done that after he left the room.....so funny!

Write it down so I don't forget

A few days ago around nap time Jackson looked at me and said "mommy, I doe wes now, I tired". Picked up his Bob (his blankie), walked to his room and laid down on his bed. I turned the light off and he fell straight to sleep. Course it hasn't happened again, BUT it was nice to not have to fight him into that bed for once.

The other morning he came out of his room with a smile on his face and said to me "mommy, Jackson is happy".....this NEVER happens because he's not a morning person at all. I would like to think of it as a nice little gift that God gave me that morning cause I was feeling a little achey.

And just a few moments ago, I was putting laundry away in his bedroom and he came in from the backyard looking for me saying "mom!? mom?" I yelled that I was back in his bed room so he came walking in that direction with the most precious gift in his hand, big smile on his face and said to me "mommy, I brought you a fower. See it's white" Then he proceeded to smell it and told me "mmm, mell pwetty mommy". No it wasn't a flower, instead it was a big puffy white dandelion. I don't know if Travis taught him to pick flowers and bring them to mommy, nonetheless, it melted my heart. Thank God for that little gift too!

Words of Encouragement

Miss Karen Mills, whom I find to be a very wise woman, told me something last week when I was venting my feelings of frustration with Jackson and his back talking and no-I-ain't-gonna-share attitude. I had told her that I thought we had whipped this area once before, and yet we are back in it full force and I was frustrated. She then said "well, I'm not sure that we (meaning her and I) have even yet reached perfection." BINGO!! What a sense of relief that I felt after she said that.

I won't give up in the battle of the terrible 2's, I'll keep pushing on towards the goal, but I still have to give Jackson grace because I myself have yet to reach perfection and as perfectly adorable as he looks to his mommy, Jackson was still born full of sin in his heart just as every other human being on this earth.

Thank you, Karen for a new perspective! I hope that encourages some of you other mom's that are struggling with the same problem day in and day out, I know it helped me a ton.

Cute pictures

Because I'm now in my 3rd trimester and sleep from this point till next Januray will be obsolete (this ain't my 1st rodeo, I know how this goes down) and I'm having a hard time falling asleep, so I'll keep smiles on the grandma's faces up north with some pictures.

Painting a snowman with puffy paint last week because it was FREEZING outside. Puffy paint is shaving cream and elmer's glue mixed together...he LOVED it!

Boys love to be messy!

Again playing inside because of the weather. He had me hook his "boat" (the pop up tent he got for Christmas) to his "truck" so he could back it into the driveway. Duh, I totally see that in this pic!

Showing mommy where his baby is....aww, so cute!

Playing air guitar to Bon Jovi this morning....he's a rocker thru and thru

Some firsts and other stuff

We hit a milestone last Saturday that I have to say I'm actually excited about. Jackson can now put his pants on all by himself. At first I was not so sure, because dressing him is always a chore, but now he's relented in the picking out his clothes area and more concerned with being able to put his pants on by himself. I just lay them out on the floor the way they are suppose to go and he sits down, puts his legs in (we've only had one incident when both legs where in one side...that was HILARIOUS and he was ticked about it!) till his toes pop out the bottom of the pants then stands up and yanks them up. This whole process takes him about a minute or two, so I just walk off and go brush my teeth while he's putting on his pants and shirt, kinda nice if you ask me. We are working on the shirt, he can do all of it if I get it over his head first, but in his defense he has a huge melon like his momma so it's a little tricky getting shirts off and on.

Bossy, bossy, bossy is what he is and I'm not talking lightly either. I discovered it about a month ago when we were playing with a younger friend, Casen, who is so laid back and enamored with Jackson that I kind of let it go. Well you give Jackson an inch and he'll take a mile, especially if he knows he can get away with it because the kid he's bossing is a little laid back with it all. Strong willed? Hmmm, he couldn't have gotten it from his 2 strong-willed parents! Ha! Ha! I'm learning everyday that parenting is a humbling and holy-refining process. When we master one area, we have another right on the heals. Thank you Jesus all the battles don't happen the same day :-). We just need to make sure we bend the strong-will nature and don't break it because these type of personalities grow up to be great leaders one day.....so my mentoring friends tell me and I guess I'll just have to take their word for it.

Here's a conversation he had with me and his friend Benjamin just today.

Jackson was winging his bag of animal crackers around to get Benjamin to laugh (I understand that part because, I too like to do things to make people laugh and smile, which isn't a bad thing most of the time). Anyway the crackers were flying all over the car so I took the bag away, to which he then screamed "NO!" at me, mostly because I'm sure he was embarrassed to get in trouble in front of an audience (I hated that when I was little too, actually come to think of it I still hate it now).

Me: Jackson don't talk to mommy that way, remember what we talked about?

Jackson: NO!

Benjamin: uh-oh

Jackson: No Benjamin, be quiet and sit sit. Don't say uh-oh!

I have to say that Benjamin probably knew that back talking wasn't OK so he probably said "uh-oh" out of shock that Jackson was back talking to his mommy, but Jackson didn't like Benjamin pointing out his mistake after mommy did, so as ALL of our sinful nature does, we snap back to defend ourselves.

Me: Jackson we don't talk to our friends that way.

But my head was facing forward in the front seat and I was dying laughing because 1) it's funny listening to a 2 year old 2) I was dying of embarrassment because Benjamin's mommy was sitting the front seat too listening to this and when Crissy is embarrassed she laughs uncontrollably...bad habit folks! I will be praying on how to deal with it, cause right now I'm at a loss.

I fail daily, heck hourly as a mom and Jackson can see that now that he's gaining more and more of his own thoughts and personality. I believe that it's good that he sees me fail, that I apologize to him when I've lost my temper and that he knows I pray with him and for him BUT that's not enough obviously. Discipleship is the job of a parent....I want Jackson to put his whole trust into God and His word, so since he can memorize The Wiggles and The Wonder Pets theme songs by heart, I find this a great time to start memorizing scripture. ("I have hidden your word in my heart so that I might not sin against you" Psalm 119:11.) We started this week and I plan on teaching him one each week this year (probably be hit or miss for a few weeks when Calvin comes along) but it's an attainable goal for sure! This idea is not new, I've learned it from some mom friends of mine to incorporate hand movements with it, and I'm excited to start it this early in his life.

Here's a video of our very 1st memory verse....one of mommy's favorite verses. (Matthew 22:37 Love God with all your heart). He'll say the verse when you ask him, including the reference, but as you all may know getting it on camera is a different story, especially when the garbage truck rolls down the street :-)

Ignorance is bliss

I have only "heard" about Haiti thru quick news casts on the radio. I don't normally watch the news because it's only doom and gloom and I know good things are happening out there so I choose to focus on that. So I have been able to stay ignorant of the details from the earthquake that happened in Haiti, until tonight when I saw pictures and read a news detail report. Now my heart is breaking for these people. The children who have lost parents, the parents who have lost children and the mass chaos with little to no hope for these people. I know that help is on the way and will be still coming, but the thought of a 2 year old wandering the street with nothing to eat or drink and confused because their mommy was just smashed under a car.....it makes me sick to think of my Jackson in that same situation.

Why would God allow this? Does He not love Haiti? Does He love me more because He allowed me to be born in the USA? As we get closer to signing the docs for this new house which is beyond comprehension of luxury for a Haitian, I start to feel more and more guilty for all the opportunities that I've been giving by being born here and not there. Here we have the ability to work hard, save aggressively but most of all we can give generously, there, that's not an option with such a corrupt government. Travis and I are praying hard for what we could give to help this nation that is stricken with grief. I know that God does not love the US more, He is a just God and will judge the nations. Haiti is a known country for voodoo and occults, our own church has a missionary family living there (his status I do not know as of yet, but am praying he is safe) within the spiritually dark place. I know that God's goodness and love for the Haitians it shinning through with messages of hope from the help that is coming. There will be believers among those bringing aid and I know that they will be sharing with these grief stricken people the one true message of hope and that is Jesus Christ. I pray that this horrible disaster will turn this pagan country into a beacon of light that shines in the Caribbean for Jesus Christ.

If you are interested and are able to give, Compassion International is a WONDERFUL organization that has and is on the ground in Haiti. The organization helps poverty stricken children in the name of Jesus Christ. Click here to find out more and to donate if possible.

My God bless the hurting people of Haiti.